Why Self Titled? Why wasn’t it Strange Fire, or Swamp Ophelia, or Nomads, or even All That We Let In? Why not any of the other Indigo Girls albums that hold special places in my heart, albums that I played on loop and worshipped, albums with songs that played during key moments of my life?
Because the Indigo Girls’ self titled album is about depression.
Hear me out on this one, OK? The Indigo Girls’ self titled album and R.E.M’s Automatic for the People are sister albums. They both came out around the same time, both have Michael Stipe on them (near the end of Kid Fears on Self Titled), and they’re both about depression. Compare Self Titled to the albums that came before and after it, Strange Fire and Nomads Indians Saints. Both have slower, more melancholic tracks but it permeates through every crack and crevice of Self Titled. Every track, even the uptempo ones, have that feeling. The only one that doesn’t is Land of Cannan, which was made popular from this album, and that’s a song off Strange Fire! According to Discogs Blood and Fire is also off Strange Fire, but it wasn’t on the first edition CD version I have or the version on streaming so go figure.
This album feels like an empty apartment in a new city to me, if that makes sense. It smells like dust kicked up by an open window, like sunlight in the fall. It doesn’t feel like any other Indigo Girls album because it’s trying very hard to set itself apart from Strange Fire. It’s not all folk, it doesn’t have that same kind of punky rebellion that Swamp Ophelia and Come On Now Social have (Shaming of the Sun, too,) It’s taking the second album curse and carrying it on its back while it lays bare all of the deep insecurities that come with fame and the introspection that comes with age. Before you can fight for others you have to be able to fight for yourself, or something like that.
Each song portrays a different kind of dread to me. Kid Fears is the fear of the unknown, Prince of Darkness is contempt towards the world, Blood and Fire is dealing with thoughts of self harm. Even Closer to Fine talks about the process of self discovery and attempts to break out of toxic habits. All of these songs paint a picture of someone deep in a depression that comes on like winter, holding you down until it passes on its own whim. It’ll probably be back.
Frequent readers (all 3 of you) will know that I bought this album when I got my first cassette player, and I played the hell out of that tape. I had known about the indigo girls, and loved them, but now I actually owned more than Land of Canaan, I had the whole album! I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, maybe Closer to Fine 10 or 11 times, but what I got was something far different than songs I had heard before. They were songs about grief, suffering, and the vocals really made it feel like I was suffering along with it. I put the album down for a while, only coming back to it a year or so ago. I knew an Indigo Girls album would be my most influential, but as soon as I heard Blood and Fire again I knew it had to be this one. After all, I wasn’t a kid anymore. I had felt some of the things they sang about, I understood. I’ve lost, too.
As expected, Indigo Girls is available wherever music can be streamed or bought.
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